Happy Birthday, Aurora Jane!

For all my bloggy peeps. I'm still holding out on facebook, but I wanted to get this down while I remembered most of it (and Ryan supplemented the rest).

Today was the day! And it was long and grueling, for sure. Here is the long, birth story:

Last night I started my proactive steps--including evening primrose oil (no longer taken by mouth, if you catch my drift), and a homeopathic remedy designed to bring on contractions (or just make me sleep really well, depending on how well it worked). The contractions would then peter out in six or so hours, and I'd do the same thing in a couple days. Also, I had some yummy smelling oil to trigger oxytocin production.

Due to going to bed on the late side (and forgetting that I had to do the homeopathic remedy every ten minutes for an hour), I didn't finish till around 1:30. And then I fell asleep.

At 3 am I woke to a small gush that made me think my water had broken. But when I stood up, it stopped (I'm pretty sure her head plugged it). The midwife confirmed later that when she checked me the bag was pretty much deflated. After I got up and moved, I was just slammed with contractions. And they were not coming one at a time, it felt like peaks and valleys of the same contraction, but the pain was constant. I was getting a little freaked out because I was in so much pain so early (which was because of my wonky anatomy--mainly incredibly tight ligaments).

We called the midwives at 6 am. And I paced and moaned and complained that they weren't there yet. To be fair, Suzanne lives an hour away, and the Sarah was there pretty quick, especially considering we woke them up at 6 am. I don't move that fast at 6 am. I started throwing up around then, and didn't stop till I hit the pushing stage. I hopped in the shower which helped with the pain some, but then ran out of hot water because we'd been filling the birth tub. For Ryan, this was the worst part of the experience, because my pain level was so much higher than expected so early. It made him very nervous. Fortunately, I do not have a problem with nudity, and I was naked from pretty much then on. The amazing thing was I had NO back labor and was in that much pain.

Suzanne got there and offered me a choice. Since I was in an absurd amount of pain, we could go to the hospital and get an epidural, or I could give her some time, and she would give me something (including an IV drip since I was vomiting all the time and dehydration was a real fear. I couldn't even keep down water). I opted for Suzanne's method, mostly I think because it would be the faster of the two pain relief options. I was starting to wonder how I was going to get through the birth if I was already in so much pain so soon.

From here everything is kind of a blur. I got set up on the IV, checked and found to have dilated from a two to a six (all that pain wasn't for nothing!). I was making progress, but I hurt and didn't really care that much. I didn't believe at the time that 6 was much. It sounded kind of like only half way.

I think Ryan went and took a nap not long after that, which was good since I was just being mean to him anyway. Wouldn't let him talk, or help, or touch me, or look at me. I think I felt like it was ok to take some of the pain out on him, rather than the midwives. I knew he'd forgive me. He was back with us around 10 am.

I sat in the tub and dilated and listened to music and moaned to myself while Sarah and

Suzanne offered me trail mix and water with honey and lemon and ice water and I think I refused most and just lived on ice water (which came back up). They put hot water on my back (which I would not allow Ryan to do for whatever reason), and pushed on my sacrum and told me I wouldn't die and that I was making progress really quickly (which I did not believe at all, as it seemed endless). The medicine they gave me really helped with the pain, but didn't remove the feeling of contractions, so I knew everything that was going on. The hot water in the tub was amazing, and they kept it hot for me. I did not want to walk or use the birthing chair or do anything but sit in that tub.

It's all kind of hazy until I hit 7 or 8 cm and someone said I was in transition and I couldn't figure out how they could tell. I felt like I was acting exactly as I had. Things started to get hairy around then, because they wanted me to do productive things like squat and use the birth chair and I absolutely did not want to because it hurt (you might be noticing a trend of me being a less than ideal patient). Finally I was told I had to sit in the birth chair. Period. And I did not argue.

And I pushed, which took me a while to get the hang of, but then I felt like I was doing it pretty well. I used my shoulders as leverage, and they are now covered in broken blood vessels. At this point I was pushing with every contraction, and I'd get in about three pushes with each one. And then I'd sleep between contractions. Ryan particularly enjoyed this part, because the whole room got silent while I slept, and it looked the midwives were getting in some relaxation, too. He really appreciated that time and the kinship, which he knew we would not have had in a hospital.

By the time Shari, another midwife had arrived, in case Sarah needed relief (she had an appointment). I pushed in the chair (which doesn't have a seat, it's kind of a chair frame that lets gravity do it's thing. I did not like it one bit, but pushing on it was not too bad. The water was way better, though, and they got me moved over once she was close to crowning.

The water was amazing again, and I pushed for a while there. I think in total I pushed for about an hour, I'm not sure. The ladies helped me get my legs into position and let me relax and sleep between contractions. Once she started to crown and I could feel her head with my fingers, I wanted to push more often, but was just too tired, so I stuck with the contractions.

And out she came! It was the most amazing feeling to have all the pressure just disappear. It felt like she came shooting out. The cord was wrapped around her neck once rather tightly, too tight to get it unwrapped before I pushed her out (although they tried). So when the final push got her out, she went in a somersault. Ryan scooped her up and got her on my chest (I think it was him, anyway). She was so, so blue, they gave her some oxygen and rubbed her chest to get her heart rate up a bit. She had an Apgar of 6 at birth and 8 five minutes later. She's a 10 now. I'm so grateful I did this at home, because I think in a hospital she would have been a c-section.

Her little head has some bruising because my ligaments were so tight and her head is on the large side. She got a vitamin K shot to help with her coagulating because of the head bruising. At this point, she and I were just hanging out in our now septic pool (that water went from clean to gross in a split second), her eyes were wide open and we were staring at each other while she cried and got everything she needed from her cord. When it stopped pulsing, Sarah clamped it and Ryan cut it. We spent a little more time cuddling, then Ryan took her so I could stand up and pass the placenta and cord.

After that I got into bed and we put her on my chest and she tried to figure out the whole breast feeding thing. The baby led breast feeding didn't work quite as expected, my boobs are now huge and she had a hard time maneuvering on them, but boy was she rooting around trying. So we did her infant exam and stamped her little feet. Ryan weighed her and they measured her length and head circumference. She didn't cry at all, just watched and stared.

Ryan got his shirt off and they did some skin to skin bonding while I got stitched up from a few tiny tears. Then I got in the shower, which was exhausting. I hopped back in bed and Ryan fed me frozen yogurt (first food I kept down all day!) while Shari coached me on breast feeding. Seems Rory likes the football hold.

By then, the midwives had everything cleaned up (how I don't know. Amazing). I was stitched and eating and holding my gorgeous baby girl and happy in bed. They headed out after some last instructions and a return visit scheduled for a couple days from now. I attempted to take a nap with Rory, but kept worrying that she wasn't breathing. And I had people to call. Ryan went and ate and called his family.

All in all, it went so, so well! I'm grateful to the team I had for putting up with me being a giant baby and guiding me to the birth experience I wanted (but was ready to cop out on). I'm so, so proud of my body and my husband and so amazed at this little bundle of kitten noises and baby yawns.

So, welcome, Aurora Jane. Born Jan. 22 at 12:43 pm, 8 lbs 1 oz and 19 inches.