Instruments of Frustration

That damn nipple shield has become the bane of my existence. I have actually started dreading feedings because that thing is such a pain in the ass. It doesn't stay on very well, and as Rory is getting bigger and wigglier, she knocks it off my boob and freaks out multiple times before finally settling down and eating. Since it's clear silicone, it disappears easily, and I spend an unreasonable amount of time trying to figure out where it went.

When we practice breast feeding without the nipple shield, it sucks. Just putting her against my bare breast triggers frustration and screaming. She doesn't even attempt to nurse at this point. And if I try while she's asleep, she purses her mouth closed (but opens wide for the nipple shield).

The kid can suck just fine. My mom had her sucking her thumb this week, she can suck my fingers hard enough that I can't remove them from her mouth, and she can suck the nipple shield. So I feel the nipple shield is incredibly unnecessary, except that she insists on it because it's what she's used to.

I kind of ticked off at myself for not trusting my instincts when the nipple shield was suggested. I think she'd be nursing without it by now if I hadn't been in such a hurry to breast feed anyway I could and stop spoon feeding. Who knows how long weaning her off this thing is going to take.

We both get so frustrated, and I actually have to remind myself that she is tiny and not yet 4 weeks old, and it's not like she deliberately knocks it off so I have to go look for it and reattach it for the umpteenth time. Honestly, if she doesn't stop using this nipple shield, it will be the reason we stop breast feeding. I feel like it's detrimental to our relationship.