I hope everyone had a great Christmas yesterday.

Ours was good, but also a reminder I have a lot of work to do in therapy or with the choices I make regarding family.

I have a hard time with Christmas, and have for years, because I usually don't hear from much of my immediate family. I love traditions and see the holidays has a time to reconnect with people. I was shown on several occasions through the season that I am alone in that, as far as my family goes. Christmas is my absolute favorite time of year. I'm not a religious person (how we explain our celebrating to Rory is a different post), but I love the decorating, the songs, the traditions. But the merry season always leads to a letdown on the day.

Some things went on yesterday, and I got my feelings hurt. I never heard from some people despite reaching out on multiple channels. I usually spend a lot of Christmas leaving voicemails and then checking my phone anxiously the rest of the day. It kind of sucks.

I don't know if I'm going to stop putting as much effort into these relationships, or what, at this point, but I'm doing a lot of thinking about how to proceed. I feel like I need to start protecting myself. A thicker skin doesn't seem likely at this point.

In other news, we may head home a little early. Ryan mentioned today, but closing the cabin up didn't sound like anything I wanted to do today, but possibly tomorrow. I'm looking forward to being home and getting my planning on!