Pre Labor Update

This last week was enlightening. I learned a few thing.

For one thing, I had no idea that contractions are supposed to max out at 2 minutes long? The shortest I ever had, with either pregnancy, was 5 minutes. And as I got closer to the birth, they were ten minutes. And yes, they were contractions. I'd end up on my hands and knees or bolting to the shower to try to get them to stop.

My first thought upon finding this out (when my midwife texted and said, "Are you sure those are contractions? They usually aren't longer then 2 minutes") was, "WHY DOES EVERYONE BITCH ABOUT BIRTH IF THEY ONLY HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT FOR TWO MINUTES!?!?!?"

Let's recap.

With my daughter, and now my son, I wouldn't have contractions at all, and then I'd have a five minute one. With Andrew it was every night around 10 (not kidding, clockwork). My theory is that my body, like my brain, aims for maximum efficiency. Rather than wasting time with lots of small contractions, it opts to do what is necessary all at once.

Ryan googled this phenomenon (of course he did) and found a woman who had the same thing, they hooked her up to a machine and saw that she was having a lot of one minute contractions, but there was barely any downtime between them, so her body wasn't feeling them stop. So maybe it's that. I'd rather just think I'm a superhero.

Monday, March 3 I went in for my regular doc appointment. Dilated to a 3 with "his head RIGHT there" I said, "Hey, while you're in there, if you want to sweep some membranes..." And she said, "Yup, on it." And that's why I love my doctor.

Tuesday I got super crampy. Ten minute long contractions (not regular, never regular) and nonstop menstrual like cramps. Now, I'd been passing thicker than snot (sorry) mucus for two weeks, so I thought my cervical cork was pretty much gone. But I started passing extra thick, bloody goo that was likely some combination of the cervical cork and bloody show. I took two baths, texted my midwife, and was generally cranky and uncomfortable. Also I just wanted my water to break so I would know I was in labor instead of these weird one offs that apparently nobody else has. My midwife responded to all my texty whining and told me to keep her posted through the night. And that's why I love my midwife.

I tried to go to sleep early, woke up for more goo. Finally went to sleep around 3, had lower back pain that wrapped around my sides (what the hell? Never happened before). Woke up at 6. Just uncomfortable. Woke up at 9:30. Passed EVEN MORE goo.

And then nothing. No contractions. No cramps for a couple hours. No activity. At all. My body was like, "Alright, great progress team, let's get some shut eye" and just stopped.

Wednesday, I didn't have anything until about 11:30, and then it was just more menstrual like cramps. Sarah came over and did a check - dilated to a 4, head station 0, water bag leaking, but bulgy (meaning he was putting some pressure on it). No blood to be found, so that's all gone. I had more fluid leaking, but then slept VERY well (12 hours) that night. Ryan also hung curtains for me in our bedroom.

Thursday nothing happened. Except for me crying and trying to get a lot of really dumb things finished. Like changing switch plates. Had to get done. Right then. And Rory was climbing the furniture and the walls and running in circles and making me completely nuts. So Ryan sent me to relax while he did dishes and wiped counters and swept floors and did laundry. And that made me cry again, because it was so unfair that he had to do everything. He said, "Have you seen this?" and patted my belly. "I'm hardly doing everything." And then I saw the new threshold he'd put between our hardwood bedroom floor and carpeted stairs and cried again because it was just so beautiful. I am a treat.

And this morning I am crampy. So, we're shooting for April?