Obligatory end-of-year post full of self-awareness ahead:
About a month ago I had a (incredibly minor, but terrifying to me) health thing happen - because of stress (so says the doc).
I've been shedding and handing off - letting Ryan take over projects, dropping things that probably aren't that important, and generally reprioritizing. Just trying to get that stress level down.
2017 was a bear for this country - but in my little world it was a year full of too much. Too much driving, too much traveling, too much on the calendar, too many projects.
All because of getting EXACTLY what I wanted.
Aurora in her new school means a 3 hour commute until the new house is built. Building a new house means picking out everything (so much more anxiety inducing than I imagined) and also selling our current house (on the market beginning of 2018). A job I love became traveling too much for work while I figured out my limits.
I love new beginnings - Mondays, first of the months, the start of a movie - anticipation is one of my favorite life experiences. The start of a new year is that amplified.
In 2018 we will see settling - our drive will go back to normal, we'll be in our new house, I'll have rigid boundaries on my work travel. We're both looking forward to all those things.
Personally, I plan to prioritize myself and my needs more than I did in 2017.
I am a person who HAS to move - exercise is a necessity for my physical and (particularly) mental health. And while it's a cliche to resolve to work out more, I only mean I will not drop myself like I did this year.
I will also share more. Ryan had a (completely successful) surgery at the beginning of December. It wasn't until the day of the surgery I realized that, outside of Ryan's parents, I hadn't told a single person in my support system that it was happening. So I sent a quick text message because it seemed like something I was supposed to do.
In 2018, I want to learn to rely on my people. Concerns about burdening people have always held me back from leaning on my team, and that contributed mightily to my stress. No more. I will ask, and not feel guilty if someone has to say no.
And finally, I'm going to let myself follow my pleasures without defining myself by the words I've heard my whole life.
I think I'm actually very athletic - I just hate monotony. Rock climbing, horse back riding, ice skating, roller derby, dance, boxing - those are some of my favorite ways to spend my time. I relax through movement. So I'm going to embrace that definition of myself and move forward in it.
Happy New Year!
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| The house! The porch will sit on top of the retaining wall, stairs will come down forward in line with the door. |
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| Post Christmas happiness |
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| Ready for LOTS of people - Lee, Diana, Sam, Colin, JT, Dylan, Emily, Mabel, Coree and Steve joined us. |
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| Aurora most of the day on Christmas. |
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| Christmas morning |
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| I got us all matching jammies, and Ryan was sweet enough to wear his. :D |
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| Santa even visited Uncle Sam (or Uncle Sammy Claus, as Andrew exclusively calls him). |
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| Sometimes the girl looks like me. |
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| Leaving Reindeer food outside. |
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| Cookies and milk for Santa. |
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| Cookie decorating with Uncle Sammy Claus. |
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| All dressed up for the Nutcracker! |
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| I told them to put on coats. They refused. I found them huddled like this for warmth. |
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| This cat refuses to get off the table. |
