I finally slept last night after a small amount of drama (involving a near panic attack that my lack of sleep was hurting Squiggle and Squiggle would have sleep problems like me, laying very still and chanting "please sleep, please sleep," and Ryan taking over and encouraging deep breaths, rubbing my back, and verbally walking me through relaxing).

That's the problem I've had for a long time with sleeping. When I get exhausted enough from not sleeping in days, I start to get really anxious and stressed about not sleeping, which contributes to the not sleeping, etc, etc. Having to get up to pee often right now is not helping, so last night I cut my self off of liquids early, which made me really thirsty, but helped. 

Yesterday's massage helped immensely, too. No longer am I having sharp lower back pain, instead it's pretty dull (the problem has been going on for 6 months, one massage was not going to wipe it out). Right now we're looking for a new gym since ours closed without notice. There's a locally owned gym I really like, but the locations aren't great for us, and there's no pool or hot tub (important to Ryan). There's a 24 hour Fitness that has all that, so we need to check it out.

But it has freaky club dues and fees like a normal gym (something the local one doesn't). 

And I hate club dues and regulations. Even though Bally's CLOSED THE ONLY LOCATION within 30 miles, I have to write a written letter requesting my membership be cancelled. I can't do it over the phone. I don't even write written letters to my Grandma. Because she's modern enough to use email!

Grrr.

Tonight I have meditation with Christina. Feel like I want to bake something tasty, but I kind of don't. And I want to scrub my kitchen today, and cooking would mean making it worse before it gets better, or making it better, making it worse, and then cleaning some more. Fortunately we still have peach cheese pie to satisfy the home baked goodness craving.