Rory's out of school!

We had a weird morning.

When I dropped Rory off at school, I overheard the director (daughter of the owner, I believe, and in her late 40s) yelling at a student, who was sobbing. "If you don't stop I'm going to call your mom to come and whip your butt!" The student cried and cried, "Yes ma'am, yes ma'am."

I don't think the director knew I was in the building, but the other teacher saw me and gave me a tight-lipped smile. I left feeling very uncomfortable about the whole situation.

There have been a few issues with this school. We discovered they pray at lunch, which nobody told me about. I went through great pains to find a private school with no religious persuasions (a difficulty in KC), and that should have been mentioned in the interview.

Rory has come home multiple times saying they are not allowed to talk at school. I arrive to find kids during playtime, so I assumed she meant while the teacher was talking. She didn't seem bothered by it, but it was a weird thing to say.

And then this. I went to a friend's house for coffee and chatting. She, my mom, my therapist, my husband, my fb friends, all supported my decision to immediately remove Rory from the school.

The idea of telling the Director that this would be Rory's last day and why set me into near panic. I don't know why. I couldn't do it, I couldn't be confrontational over something so important. So I wrote a very simple letter at Carrie's house explaining what I had witnessed, that I found it to be unacceptable and not to my understanding of Montessori discipline standards, and that Rory would not be returning.  My plan was to leave it on the counter where the kids are signed in and out when I got the kiddo.

The panic worsened. By the time I left Carrie's I was almost sure I would throw up. I had no idea what I would do if the Director recognized what had happened and made an attempt to smooth things over (thankfully, she did not make an appearance). I know I am non-confrontational, but this was an extreme reaction.

Fortunately, I was able to just leave the letter. Rory is handling the news well. She told me that the teachers did yell at her (I clarified: Yelled or asked you to stop. She said yelled) and the other kids if there was a "problem." She will take the summer off and enroll in preschool elsewhere in August.

I get it. I yell at my kid occasionally, particularly if we've had a long day and I need Ryan to come in and give me a chance to cool down and get my bearings. But I am not her teacher. I wouldn't yell at my friend's kids, either. It's a different standards, and she just seemed like such a bully.

We will be visiting my extreme reaction in therapy. I have to be able to protect my kid and happiness without feeling so guilty and terrified. So weird.