Tantrums

Rory and I finally got our pies done. One for Ryan, one for Lee (who picked his up today on his way to Colorado for the week).

It was fun making them with Rory. We had a tough start to our day when I picked her up from school. Something about 11:30 am just doesn't work for Rory, she's cranky every time I pick her up - mostly from hunger, I imagine. And sometimes I bring her a snack, but sometimes I barely remember to bring Andrew, so she just has to deal until we get home.

The whining started. She couldn't buckle her seat belt. It was easy to see why, since she wasn't actually trying to. I told her I was in no hurry, and I'd wait while she figured it out. And I told her I would be happy to help her, once she actually tried and failed.

She did a couple lame duck tugs on it, whined, hurled herself backwards and on and on. Finally I told her I'd help her, but if I help her, she loses scooter friend privileges, because I know she can do this. Unfortunately, the pitifulness was too locked in, so she lost scooter friend privileges for the day.

I gave her a couple minutes to deal with that (cry and be upset) and then I thought it was getting excessive. I told her she needed to calm down. She said no. I said she was acting very tired by being so fussy, and if she didn't calm down soon I would think she needs a nap. And, as you can likely guess, down came the nap. And then came the screaming.

Balled fists, eyes shut, ear piecing angry screams as loud as she could go. I was actually concerned for Andrew's eardrums. We drove by a school, so I pulled in, parked near a tree in a large grassy area, and hauled her tiny ass out of the car.

I deposited her on the grass and said, "If you want to scream, you may do it right here. You may NOT do it in my car. You can get back in when you're finished." Then I got in the car and shut the door, and rolled down the window.

She lost it for about 10 minutes. Pissed off and pleading to be let back in the car and then, out of energy, she got to her last power play.

"I'll say I'm done screaming if you say please."

We've been hearing this a lot. It's her last attempt to control the situation. So, even though she's been arguing about whatever she was asked to do, she can save face and make it not her fault. It hasn't been going well for her.

"Rory, I'm happy in the car. I'm in no hurry. I'm not saying please, I don't need you to get in. I've got a book. If you'd like to get back in the car, you need to tell me you're done screaming."

There is a point to these new tantrums (this is the third one in three days), that I think is important. They don't stem from her trying to get something. This isn't "I'll act out and Mom will give in to shut me up." These are "I'm small and immature and overwhelmed by my emotions and don't know the proper course to take."

She finally said she was done, was welcomed back in the car, and asked about the nap. Because I still needed to get the grocery store with her I told she could earn it. If there was ANY fussing, screaming, arguing, or back talk at the grocery store she would take a nap. End of story. And she was angelic. So we came home and made pie.

One perfect strawberry rhubarb.

Rolling out grandpa's pie.

My helpers.